Kenny: the guy who cant die
by SMAK101
Summary: Kenny McCormick- poorest kid in school, hottest teen in town, daredevil,oh and he CANT die, no matter how much he might want to, he always comes back, it gets boring after a while, rated T for the kids foul mouthed-ness(is that a word?) if u have any ideas u might want to happen just tell me! im up for suggestions!
1. Chapter 1

_**diaclaimer - i dont own southpark**_

I sat on my bed in my messy room. I hadnt cleaned it for so long i cant even remeber, and i dont plan on cleaning it anytime soon. Dad had come home drunk again. I cant blame him. If i had the fucked up job that he did, i probubly would get wasted everynight too!

I heard yells from the kitchen. Kevin ahd gotten home late, again. Mom was pissed. I rememeber how she went on a rampage dragging Karen to the store with her while i went over to fat-asses house with the guys. We had played truth or dare and again, like everyday, i died. They dared me to drink a whole gallon of bleach and i did. Of course i died and then came back a few hours later.

People might think its a miricle that i 'cant' die, but for me its a curse. You have no idea how much i want to just drop dead right now and get the fuck away from this hell whole they call South Park, Colorado. Ive tried suicide sometimes i do the stupid stuff Stan, Kyle, and that belching vagina plan just so i would die.

So now here i am sitting on my bed with a back eye for getting in a fight with some 18 year olds who were high as fuck and starting fights with Cartman. If i had let Cartman fight them, they might have been killed. I mean with that crazy bastard anything possible. The dutch is crazy.

I sighed and started to take off my signature orange jacket. I had stopped wearing the parka when i was 12 because... well when you hit middle school, you arent exactly allowed to wear heavy coats. So i got use to having people see my face and hearing me clearly. I kindof miss the old orange monstrosity, we had been through hell and back, literally, plus i liked how i could say anything i want, perverted rude or just plain mean, and no one would be able to understand it so id get away with it. Now, people are use to my curse words, and perverted words. I still wear an orange jacket though, i just thik i looke fucking hot in orange, and the girls seem to agree. I mean, you dont become #1 on the boyfriend list by doing nothing.

Im Kenneth McCormick, hottest guy, bad boy, playboy of South park High. I still hang out with the same ass wipes that i have since i was 9, i still do crazy stunts that would kill poeple, im still the poorest kid in South park High, im still the same old Kenny. i just show my facew more.

I stripped my shirt off, and walked into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. A 15 year old boy with shaggy blond hair that looked like bed head, in a sexy way, with large deep blue eyes, a busted lip and purple beguinning to surround my left eye. I touched it and winced. Even though i cant die i still feel all the pain that goes along with it. I have a pretty high pain tolerence.

I sigh and started to clen the cut on my lip, "Great going Ken, fight a bunch if pot smoking seniors. At least i saved them from Cartman," I said to myself as i finish cleaning my wounds. I stipped my pants and boxers off and started a shower.

The warm water running down my back felt soothing as hell. I thought of my friends. The other day Stan and Kyle came out of the closet and told us they had been dating for the past 4 months. I wasnt suprised, but Cartman took the oprotunity to tease them. God cant that fat-ass ever grow up?

Everyone knew i was bi, i mean, i was the known as the horniest teen in South Park. i would fuck just about anything that moved, it was no secret.

I thought about how Cartman got with Wendy. How the hell that happened ill never know, but at least that dick got a bitch to fuck. I know thats the only reason she would be with him. There was a rumor going around that Cartman had the largest dick in school. Of course if it was the largest it would just be fat encasing it. The little whore.

I finished the shower and got dressed in some grey sweat pants and layed on my bed looking at the ceiling. This room really needed a paint job, i thought.

There was a knock at my bedroom door that made me jump, "Who the hell is it?" I asked annoyed.

"Kenneth McCormick you do not talk to your mother that way! and you have a visitor," my mother said through the door.

I sighed and waked over to the door. Who would come this late in the day? "Sorry mom," I say as i pass her.

"Its okay sweetie," She said ruffling my hair as i walked to the door. I opened it to see...

_**cliff hanger! actually its just i dont know who should be at the door gihi, im free writing this so im not sure what the plot will be, but it will be about Kenny. I just love him soo much, he is one of my unexplainable fictional charector crushes, even if he is just 10 in the tv show. so anyway... tell me what you think so far...**_


	2. Chapter 2

"what the hell are you doing here?" I aksed the dutch bag who was standing on my pourch like he diddnt have a fucking care in the world. God i really hated this guy, he always thought he was better than everyone else, he really pisses me off.

"Well nice to see you too Kenny," The teen replied in his usual monotone voice. he had his hands in the pockets of his blue jacket. I looked behind me to check on my family before i walked out on the pourch and shut the door after me.

"Cut the crap Craig, what the fuck do you want? Its like, 9 o'clock," I said annoyed. my bare feet on the cold concrete. I diddnt really feel the cold, even though i wasnt wearing a shirt. Not like i cared who saw me with a shirt or not, its only Craig.

Craig looked at me with his half closed eyes, "I wanted to tell you that the science project is due friday instead of next monday. Since you werent at school today,"

I growled, that damn science teacher. The science project wasnt supposed to be due till next monday givving us the weekeend to do it, but now its due the day after tomorrow. Fuck. "Is that all you wanted to tell me?"

Craig shrugged, "Yeah, I mean the project is at your house. I just wantyed to make sure you knew so you would be there to turn it in so we got the grade,"

"If your so worried, why not keep it at your place instead?" I mumbled crossing my arms to keep warm. The cold was finally getting to me.

Craig saw me shivering and smirked, "Not the best idea to come out in 40 degree weather with out a shirt and shoes huh? And you know why we cant keep it at my place, my sister would fuck it up, little prick," he mumbled the last part about his sister.

i sighed, i was tired and annoyed so i just nodded ad said, "Fine watever ill be there,"

We stood there a while and Craig finally said, "What the hell happened to your face?"

I looked at him. He suprisingly had a look of worry on his face that dissapeared as fast as it came, "Saved some seniors from Cartman. I swear if i wasnt there he would have killed them,"

Craig chuckled, "Always gotta be the hero huh Ken?"

I scowled at him, "So what? being the heros better than the villian, right?"

I thought of my secret identaty as Mysterion. I still went around protecting my little sis as that 'superhero' i smiled. I even actually stop crmes from happening sometimes.

Craig just shrugged and said, "sure,"

"Well im gonna go back inside," I say and start to turn to the door when i hear Craig say, "W-wait!"

I turned to the raven haired teen who was looking down. he had a tiny tint of pink on his cheeks, which i thought as kind of cute.

"umm... Butters wanted you to call him tomorrow," He said fats and turned to leave, "See ya later McCormick,"

I stood there confused as hell. I shrugged it off and went back inside. I walked past my dad who was passed out on the couch while Karen was watching some chick flick on the tv. Mom was in her room doing who the hell know what, while kevin was in the bathroom vomiting all the liqure he had consumed the past day.

Yup a regular day in the McCormick household.

I walked to my room shut the door and went to my bed to flop on it making it creak loudly. I lay there for hours, not bale to sleep. Butters wanted me to call him? why couldnt he have just told me that in person? I mean me and Butters are pretty close, im the only one who hangs out with him because everyone else find the poor teen as annoying and to 'good' But hats what i love about little Butters, his innocence. He was the biggest fag in school, but i was cool with that. he diddnt care what poepel thought of him. He wasnt afraid to show what he liked, he wasnt fake.

A lot of the students at SPH were fake. They pretended to be the way poeple wanted to be, i think thats part of the reason why im so popular. I honestly dont give a crap what poeple think of me so i just act like i would anytime. Butters was the same way.

i yawn and look at the clock, it was 3 am and i was still not very tired. i decided to go to the window and go to the roof. i put on my jacket and sat there in the moonlight. I though about how i die all the time. No one worries, cause they know ill always come back. But it kind of hurts. What if i died and never came back? would they act like im still gonna come back and not worry? would it be like the time i died of that muslce disease? i heard they tried to make a ladder to heaven just to get a fucking ticket for a cany store. Dicks.

But they are still my best friends.

I looked at the moon. it was lighing everything up with its light. i smiled at the sight. I might be a dick but i can still know beauty when i see it. i slowly closed my eyes and fell into sleep on the roof.

_**yeah sooooo... ideas peopel! please! i really want to finich this i just love kenny too much to not finish it, ive got some ideas but i would stilll like your guys ideas too ^3^**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**diclaimer- i dont own south park**_

i stood by the bus stop waiting for those dicks i call my friends to show up. Just like any other day, at least the days i choose to come to school. i pulled out a cigarett from my pocket and lit it. I had gotten in the habbit becaused it calmed me. It annoyed the fuck out of Kyle and Stan though.

"Yo, Kenny," I heard the Lards voice from the left. I look at him. he ahdnt changed much since we were kids, he had lost a few pounds but was still fatter than everyone else. his hair was still in its same hair style though it had become a darker auburn. This eyes made him have the look that he was either pissed or 'too cool for you'. He wore a red button up shirt with a white t-shirt underneath along with blue geans and some awesome tennis shoes that i would love to have but i knew Cartman wouldnt give them to me, even if i did do spmething crazy, plus his feet are way too big for me.

"Hey fat ass," I reply. He scowled but smirked and stood next to me. It was normal for us to greet eachother that way.

"Dumbass, should have just let me take care of those fucktards yesterday. Now you've messed up your pretty little face," he sadi smickering.

I blew out the smoke in my mouth and looked at him, "Hey, you would have killed them,"

Cartman laughed, "And its better for you to die? Oh wait yeah it is! you'll just come back,"

I looked out to the pond on the other side of the road and diddnt bother answering the large teen. He was right, i would just come back. And no one would have to worrie. Better.

After a few more minuets of silence between me and fat boy, Stan and Kyle walked over holding hands.

"Aww, look at the Homobros, did you guys have fun jacking eachother off?" Cartman teased the couple.

"Fuck you too Cartman," Kyle sadi and stood next to me with Stan on the other side of him.

"stupid jew," Cartman mumbled and kicked some snow. Kyles red hair was less curly than it use to be, covered by a green bandana instead of his old green hat, he still wore it but not to school, his greene eyes were much more noticeable now. he wore a light green shirt underneath his black sweater and an orange sports jacket.

"Whoh, Kenny, what happened to your face dude?" Stan asked looking at me. my eyes had went down a lot but was still slightly purple, my lip was healed but i still had a bruse on my chin. Stan still wore his red and blue hat, along with a red jacket and some black jeans. His light blue eyes had gotten lighter over the years and his hair now grew to his shoulders, he was growing a tint stubble on his chin too.

I shrugged, "Saved some seniors from Cartman yesterday," I said. The two boys nodded in understanding. The bus rolled up not soon after that and i put out my cigarett and we got on. The bus driver grunted at us and drove off to the school. I walked through the bus. Stan and Kyle sat next to eachother, Cartman sat next to Token who frowned in displeasure, and i walke dall the way to the back in my usual spot next to Butters.

I was perfectly aware that all the girls on the bus were stripping me with their eyes but i ignored them. I diddnt have time for them and their stupid girlish fantasys they imagine because they cant get someone to fuck them.

"Hey, K-kenny, you diddnt c-call me yester-d-day," Butters muttered looking at his hand rubbing his nuckles together.

I looked at the poor hello kitty loving boy. His hair had stayed the same white blond color, with a few clipps in it. He was weaering a baby blue polo sgirt with some grey skinny jeans. I had helped him with fashion so he diddnt look like a total dutchnosal. He had his hello kitty one strap bag sitting in his lap.

I smiled him and put my arm across his shoulders startling him, "Sorry Butterfly, it was pretty late when i got home. By the way, why did you ask Craig to tell me to call you when you could have just called me on your own?"

Butters had a tint of pink on his pale white face, from the nickname. I smiled at him, he was so cute! "Oh w-well you see, C-Craig wanted t-to-" he was cut off by the bus driver yelling at us to get our asses off the bus.

I looked at Butters and winked at him, "Dont worrie Butterfly, you can finish what you were avout to say in 4th hour,"

I walked off the bus with Butters tagging after me.

Everyone was rushing to their calsses while i just walked to my locker and took my time putting my stuff in it. I diddnt give a rats ass if i was late or not. By the time i closed my locker the bell rang and the hall were empty besides the poeple going into their classes a minuet late.

I rolled my eyes and walked lazily to my fist hour. when i walke dintro the room it became silent immediatly.

"Ahh, Mr. McCormick, How nice of you to join us today. Do you have a reason fofr being late?" My teacher asked.

I looked at him with an annoyed expression, "Yeah,"

The teacher looked annoyed as well and said, "And can you tell me that reason?"

I shrugged, "Yeah,"

"Then tell me, , why you are disrupting my class," He looked at the clock, " ten minuets late?"

"I said i _can_ tell you, i never said i would," I replied and walked to my seat ion the far corner of the room. I sat down as the teacher mumbled profanities underhis breath but loud enough fro the class to hear.

He continued with whatever he was doing befroe i came in as i laid my head down and looked out the window boed as all hell.

_**so i know this chapter was kindof boring but i wanted to explain everyone, but dont worrie the next one will be better i promis! oh and i just love butters and had to put him in the chapter. i totally ship Bunny too. I imagine Buters being a girl in a guys body. so yeah reveiw please, luv yall**_

_**~siyera**_


	4. authors note

I want you all to know that i have enjoyed writting for you sooo much. You all made me happy and feel good about myself.

I love writting nad wish i could finish this story and my others... but im not sure i can...

I guess youll find out in the next couple days...

anyway,you dont have too worry just some crap thats going on with me thats all ^3^

im sorry, i know that i never got a chance to finish this but if i dont update in the nextmonth at the most... someone else can 'adopt' my stories... just as long as you let people know that i was the original writer gihi.

Im very sorry about this inconveinience... i love you guys.

and rememebr that if anything is going on, always think about the good stuff. Even if its just that maybe you got the cookie you wanted at lunch today. as long as its good.

and dont be afraid to talk to someone if you want to... trust me on that one.

no matter the size of your problem its important.

Just like i stated in 'Not So Diffrent', when i had kenny say all those things to clyde, it wasnt just for him. it was all true. i was hoping that you guys would be able to take a lesson from that.

Dont follow in my lead. Im a terrible person. No matter if i write good, act nice, am a good friend. I know im a terrible person.

But that dfoesnt mean you have to be too.

So yeah, im sorry, but read the first couple paragraphs again.

I guess ill see you guys sometime i the next month... maybe.

~Siyera Mea Angelic King (SMAK101)


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